Guys, admit it, while being in Second Life, we cannot deny the fact, that there are more women in SL than, let’s say mammoths. So, if we want to minimize our efforts, hunting women around us makes sense. And even if it is only to keep in practice.
The first thing I usually hear or read as an advice for men is „be yourself“. Frankly, that’s rubbish. You know yourself and how being yourself ended repeatedly in RL. It’s a myth, and really, who knows better who we are when we are how we are. Be something completely different: be social, be properly dressed and have a shower. I am aware of the fact that life is short, we need to ’seize the day’ and men have a shorter life span than women. And yet, a shower a day is still a must. Get used to it. It might well be, that half-time breaks on sport events have been invented in particular for this purpose. BUT: we only need to PRETEND to have a shower a day! The rule of thumb is, if your neighbor on a domestic flight ends in a row with the stewardess whether standing in the aisle during starting and landing is allowed, it’s usually time for a shower. And in SL it is comparably easy. On the way to the refrigerator, walk slow, open the bottle on the way back, but announce in chat that you had a quick shower because you only came back from sports. Easy job! Don’t do it for every bottle though, the frequency of showering might be implausibly high.
Women are social beings. I think that comes from the time when they lived in caves and had all the echoes around them while speaking. This theory is considerably new, however, is backed up by the fact, that a woman only loves to listen when you confirm either through repeating what she said or admitting it in other ways. One of the ways is definitely using one of the following words [you can take notes from here]: absolutely, clearly, I know what you mean, you are so damned right, sorry. ATTENTION! Though some terms sound like confirmations, they aren’t. You need to avoid them by all means: my mom said the same, my ex said the same, my secretary says the same. Frankly: no one ever says the same!! Keep that in mind at all times. Tattooing these words on visible parts of your body might be an option. And with visible parts I mean parts of your body you can show in public without being accused of disorderly conduct. But bear in mind that it still needs to be a fairly natural gesture when you try to read it during a conversation. Triceps is fine, middle finger for obvious reasons isn’t.
But before you get the chance to use any of these techniques, you still need to pick up with somebody first. So how ist this achieved best? – I know that there is a revolutionary new concept on the market named „grab her by the p***y“, which is derived from the concept „pull her at her hair and drag her into the cave“, however, I am not yet convinced by this technique. I would rather recommend my own developed one which is called „blush you lush!“. Blushing as a man is a very strong mean to convince a woman. Bear in mind, whatever you are saying, you are suspected to be lying. You are a man! So blushing tells a woman, „ … he is not one of these greedy philanderers. He is shy, decent and honest. He can’t hide it. …“ So if you have a chance: blush! You don’t even need a reason for it. If she pays you a complement – blush. If she is expecting a compliment – blush. If you buy her a beautiful bouquet of flowers – blush. If you have bought the last bouquet at the gas stop and you are not sure … give it to her, but blush! One word does it all for you, even without saying! „Blush“. Your key to happiness.
Now, how can we learn to blush on purpose. The following technique DOES NOT work for me, but for most of you I guess. Find a large mirror somewhere, get naked and turn yourself until it will show your profile. Turn your head towards the mirror and check yourself out. Watching your body closer will automatically make you blush. If you get pale instead, do sports three times a week and try again in six months. ATTENTION: follow the procedure all the time, get naked, turn to profile, THEN check yourself out. Your mind will memorize the procedure. After it has become a second nature for you, leave out the getting naked part, and there you are. Whenever you meet a woman, make sure to look at her over your shoulder and you will automatically blush. And yes, it would be too cheap for me indeed to make jokes about memorizing the whole procedure.
So, making eye contact is the overall accepted first step, but blushing additionally is my secret advice to you. Once she smiles at you, or talks to you, you are on the right path. If she asks you from wich native tribe you are, you know that you have overdone with blushing. There is a common mistake in RL as well as in SL that men fall victim to a lot: sunglasses. How on earth are you supposed to make eye contact with someone while wearing sunglasses? Better check her out secretly when she turns to the waiter, but keep eye contact when she looks at you. Now, don’t try to be smart and use your sunglasses as a hair circlet. At the best the glasses will not work as burning lenses and you are still safe, but it still looks awkward then, and with gelled hair you will actuarially be in trouble when driving with your sunglasses put back on again. Just refrain from it, even on your wedding. It’s not cool!! Let me be very clear with it: I know it is a kind of a blow, but tuxedos and sunglasses don’t go together, no matter which color.
Otherwise you are fairly safe with whatever you like to wear, if you use the following pick up lines:
• my favorite color? American Express black.
• why do wallets never have enough compartments for all the credit cards?
• Unfortunately I will have to drive you home. I simply don’t have a driver because I cannot afford that he runs off with my housemaid.
• Why I am still single? I had to decide between being good looking to get the nice girl or becoming rich to get the nice girl. And I took the safer way. I was unaware of the fact that my good looks lasted for so long. But here I am.
„Pah! That’s all money based!“ , you will say. But my dear friend, why else do you think the terms
• PAY her a compliment
• she didn’t BUY that you were rich
• she is precious
do exist? „Handsome“ is just the short version of „hand me some money“. And girls simply love handsome men. Ask them if you don’t believe me. And while we talk about believing, another often expressed point is: a man shall not be a liar. Yes, I know that’s disturbing and contradictory, but we have to handle this argument with caution. Please understand, saying „I do not lie …“ automatically makes you a liar in the eyes of a woman. They don’t want to get a liar, but they are pretty aware that there isn’t any other. Likewise they all want unicorns, but they all ride horses in the end. And metaphorically speaking gluing a horn to a horse just makes them saddle a different horse. So IF you are in trouble, please make extensive use of one of the following expressions
• can I ask you a counter question? Which of the following excuses are you most likely to believe?
• can I answer this question please after I have quickly rushed for some flowers for you?
• … and on the way home I passed this jewelry shop and they had this beau-ti-ful bracelet in the window which I believe will look just gorgeous on you …
• I haven’t forgotten your birthday, you just haven’t got any day older for me in the last 25 years.
More can be found on my fee-based online course on youtube „How Do I Master Female Enquiries“.
And be aware:
„I am just about to pick up the laundry from the laundry facilities“ sounds so much better than „I am doing the laundry right now“. Likewise „I’m speechless!“ is the only superior answer to any question like „how do I look in these?“ which lets you remain honest either way.
Finally, there is a rumor that women love men who make them laugh. In fact this rumor is just spread by people like me for you to drive the flock to us. Have you ever been to a restaurant somewhere in the world where you have seen a beautiful woman sitting next to a man with a red nose? How often have you seen a man suddenly squinting to make a woman laugh during dinner? It’s not happening, and for a good reason. Did you ever see a man eating the flowers from a dinner table and hearing a bell-like laughter at the same time? I mean apart from in a vegetarian restaurant. It is not going to work. The very truth is, women love men who make them SMILE, and this is a completely different story and based on completely different reasons. One of the reason is plastic surgery, but those usually never stop smiling, so it is pretty easy for you to achieve it during a date. The others are rather based on emotions, or let’s say feelings.
And there we are. To cut a long story short, in fact it is all about feelings. The true answer is, forget everything I said above, but make your date feel good. That’s the best advice I can give. Put a smile on your face and try to be agreeable, it doesn’t need much more than that. And yes, tuxedos and sunglasses are still a no go.
There will still be some women who will expressly contradict to what I am saying. That’s where the percentage of estimated 30% of the female in SL being male comes into effect.
And if all of this doesn’t work for you and you are still single, you have plenty of time to read my new book: „Making the best of being single.“ Here an extraction from the book: „ … one of my friends always said that while days have equally 24 hours for every man, lonely nights are reciprocally longer the closer you have to stand to the wall at an urinal. …“