Do these mail-order bride catalogues really exist? – In Second Life they do exist in a male version when it comes to the attempt of buying a male mesh head. A friend of mine, a woman who will feel deeply embarrassed now and blushing to the max for sure if I mention her name here, which I luckily for her won’t do, told me, that I may no longer be so badly behind the times with my all-in-one Tellaq avatar and should go and find me a mesh head at least if not a full new mesh avatar.
What happened to the good old days, when a man bought an avatar like he buys a car in RL – just fall in love with the looks and check off the list – ?
• skin – check. [√]
• shape – check. [√]
• beard – check. [√]
• fun package – not sold with the basic model
and there you are.
The head was not even part of the check list at all. It was always there, standard execution, like the muscles were. Muscles seem to define a man’s avatar in SL more than anything else, which is kind of funny when considering what is missing. And yes, hair is almost always missing as well. We’re all a kind of a cabriolet on delivery, a touch of reality 🙂
This kind of purchase was quickly done, and not many chances left to make a mistake. Many of these avatars even came with a list of recommended hairs and landmarks right to the spot where to buy it. Life couldn’t be easier for a man. You were good looking, shaved and combed in less than 15 minutes. When did this happen to you last?
All this has been taken away from us secretly and unfortunately, while we now sit in front of our computers with our “island haircut” – a solid rock with some shrubbery surrounding it – trying to reinvent us on SL marketplace.
Have you already tried to enter “male mesh head” in the search list of Second Life’s Marketplace? The first thing that surprised me was that I found 2,379 articles instantly, but can somebody explain to me please, why I would find even 2,702 articles when I set it to “general, moderate, adult”? What are they assuming the head is for?
But whoever expected a long list of male mesh heads appearing on the screen from which one would have to choose the most pleasant one only, could not be more disappointed. What I got instead was:
• a deer’s head I can see where that comes from, nice sense of humor. What’s my girlfriend doing actually?
• Donald Trump head yes, I assume that was unavoidable, but I won’t comment on it any further. Just for the compliant buyers, it comes with the hair already, but I wouldn’t call it a bonus 🙂
• trimmed eye brows
• tons of tattoos
• razor shaved hair cuts
Did you buy a full avatar in previous times, you now even assemble the head like the LEGO Millennium Falcon. And that’s where Second Life becomes educational again. A basic knowledge of anatomy is required to make you look the way you recognize your own beauty. And it would be hours of fun to assemble it, like the LEGO Millennium Falcon was, if it didn’t require additionally Linden$ as well. I fell in love with a set of eyebrows but refrained from buying them without having the head first. Instead I made a folder on my desktop and copied the link to the folder.
I was considering to use my SL eyeballs at least with the new head, like this bridal thing: something old, something blue … but was told, that I can’t do it, so decided for a new pair of eyes as well, which went straight into the „Head“-folder as well. Beard, scars, tattoos … you name it. Only the head remained an unsolved challenge. I stopped the search at this stage and got in touch with a friend inworld who I knew had bought a mesh head only recently. Why I knew? Easiest thing in the world: it’s those people who’s brain appears first, then the eyeballs, ears, hairs and then the skull finally. It in fact proved prejudices against blondes once and forever wrong. I can already recognize Savannah Rain, Aurora Metaluna and Nonah Reeves by their brains and eyeballs only. This mesh thing must indeed be some female invention. After decades wasted effort to educate men, we now start to look into their eyes first in SL quite naturally. – Anyway, on my question what might be the best head to buy I got the answer: „there are only a few really“. A completely feminine answer. Bearing in mind that I found more than 2,300 entries about mesh heads I couldn’t believe it. But the secret behind it seems to be, that a good mesh head must be capable of doing tricks. Yes, you read it correctly, a mesh head must have features. One of the features she showed me on her new mesh head was, it can blow chewing gum bubbles! – But it can do so much more, the good ones can. A mesh head comes with a hud, quasi an external control panel for the brain. And with this hud you can do for example chewing gum bubbles, but also emotions. You can laugh, smile, look sad, even with watered eyes. Would there be a need of any further proof that the whole mesh thing was an invention of a female programmer? Why would we need to have a hud for face expressions as a man? And if so, wouldn’t we not want to find face expressions like „fake royal flush“, „f**k off you buggar“ and „no I didn’t check out the girl at the other table“ instead of „watering eyes“ or „blow kisses“ in the hud? At a price no less than 5,000 L$ you can get only as close as „surprised“ to the real no. 1 male face expression of „no, I didn’t do that.“ – And there we are, we have to admit it, women have taken over SL completely. We only realize now, but it has started already with the mesh clothes. I paid like 3,000 L$ only for my Tellaq beautifully muscle packed avatar, but the moment I bought mesh clothes the „alphas“ erased the whole body up to the head. All muscles gone! Just clothes remaining! Does that sound like a man invented it? 3,000L$ spent and 2,950L$ alpha-ed away immediately. – The only choice that is left really is the size of the clothes. They offer XL, L, M, S, and XS. What kind of sizes are they for a real man?! Everything smaller than L is just fetish. We’d do perfectly alright with the sizes L and XL, but frankly, I wouldn’t mind if they’d be the same even. From all that was once me in SL they reversed evolution. First they back breeded my whole body up to the head by alphaing the alpha male (see what the name comes from, they didn’t even try to hide it), and now they are going to replace the remainings – my head – with a kiss blowing, bubble gum chewing assembly of accessories of eye lashes, eye brows, hairs, piercings and razor blade hair cuts.
Guys, I do not like to admit it, but I need help here. I’d really love to stay on my brainless all in one bearded and muscle packed avatar of shame, but it looks like mesh is the way to go if I want to have a chance to keep on going out with girls in SL. So I ask you, what experience did you make with mesh heads and bodies (your own head and body, stupid! 🙂 )? And can you recommend one to me?
By the way: while typing this article, I made the ultimate test. I put a ring on a hand and used alphas for the hand and guess what happened? – The ring stayed visible. Yes, we all have thought so already, didn’t we …
Take care and have a great Wednesday