INDEPENDENT – NON-PARTISAN – COMPLIMENTARY – CONTRADICTORY – SELECTIVE – INFORMATIVE – TRENDSETTING
Start Your Day in Style
Why don’t you come around and have breakfast at our lovely Seafront Café. Our amiable staff, the freshly in-house baked croissants and the fresh fruits and yoghurts are waiting just for YOU. Make your second life feel right and start each day the rich and spoiled style. – Breakfast and cakes 24h/7d.
New Police Officer in Town
July 15, 2019 – Citizens of our beloved city can sleep easy from now on. There’s a new police officer in town. Early Monday morning he received the keys to the cell doors, the coffee machine and the staff toilet. It didn’t take long and the pedestrians could watch him already cruising through the city on his brand new motorbike. From now on cats will be rescued from the trees, graffitis will be wiped off and young ladies will be brought home before the city lights throw scary shadows in the streets. The first act he carried out was doubling the fine for speeding and parking tickets. “We need to keep up with metropolises like New York, Moscow or Kolkata, if we want to attract further people to move to our city.”
Happy Rezday AnnaCeePla
July 14, 2019 – The whole city was flagged with balloons for Anna’s Rezday, and it came as a total surprise for her. The real estate agent was visibly moved when she discovered how much effort it must have taken to decorate the whole city and her home this way. We found her in her kitchen baking cake for everyone. “This has been my best rezday ever!”, she said with a big grin on her face and flour traces on her face.
Parunville Crime-free since 103 Days
July 13, 2019 – The authorities of Parunville took pride in the statement that the city was crime-free since more than 3 months, and the police arrest cells where deserted for so long, that the officers couldn’t even remember where they left the keys. But it seems like they will soon be needed after concerned citizens found dragon faeces on the walk ways of the bridge. “I found it there when I walked my dog”, a citizen told the officers when she was stopped by them under the assumption that her dog had been the culprit. “No, no it wasn’t Honey, a dragon did it!” she insisted. So the police looks now for cooperation with the citizens. Who has seen a dragon or even several dragons walking along or around the bridge area on Saturday, July 13th? The faeces could unfortunately not be secured as evidence. The dog ate it.
Tax Cash Back Friday
July 12, 2019 – This is the sweetest day of the month and the best invention of all for the citizens of Parunville, and pioneering for the society. Parunville pays cash from the ATM machine to each citizen of Parunville this day. Strategically well located just around the pub and 15 steps away from the clothes shop, the ATM machine waits for its draining. The ‘Tax Cash Back Friday’ is an initiative of the program ‘Love Your Autorities’. While member of the steering group become more and more impatient with the results of the program lately, the representative of the citizenship claims that one “has to give these things time”.
Candy’s Clothes Shop to Shine in New Look
July 10, 2019 – As recently as this week the town councillor had to announce the closure of Candy’s Clothes Shop “with much regrets”, as he emphasized. One year after Candy Morgan had passed away the supplies of goods could no longer be maintained, and complaints have increased over the last few months. The shop will therefore be rebuilt completely, however, it will remain its reference to Candy the new operator confirmed.
July 9, 2019 – The weather forecasts for July 9th aren’t really good. There’ll be plenty of rain, but the plants can well need it. There’s a weather board, at the fountain in the park in front of the Galerie Des Beaux-Arts. “/1 show” will invoke it “/1 hide” will hide it again. So if you are not happy with the weather, simply choose another one from the menu. We call that a great service by the municipal authorities.
Parunville, Capital of the Dragon Breeders
July 5, 2019 – Unheeded for most of the people, Parunville has become capital of the dragon breeders. One in 4 citizens are directly or indirectly bound to the dragon business. This led to a vivid discussion in the city council recently about the need of further health regulations for pets and animals in general and an extended obligation to leash them. While the fear of endangering the sheep family in the meadow seem to be unfounded, the rumor of a dedicated zoo receives fresh impetus. The council established a new commission around NoelCeeAr Resident to evaluate the impact of dragons in and around the city. His first statement was “it will most probably lead to cheaper steak prices in the pub, but we will see. We are still at the beginning of our investigation”. The first hearing is planned for end of August.
No Church for the City
July 6, 2019 – It was an unanimous decision this week that there will be no church at Parunville within the next future. The request has been withdrawn by the applicant’s widow and her gardener. She expressed, however, to reserve the right to demand a cemetery, and brought her gardener into play for a paid job as the cemetery gardener. For her late husband it will come too late in any case. As she informed us his ashes were needed to cover an oil leakage underneath her gardeners motorbike, and it will have to be disposed as hazardous waste.